and I joke the Twihards will all be up in an unnecessary but wholly amusing tizzle because Twilight: Eclipse premiered yesterday and you just know they’re gonna draw some stupid coincidental conclusions.
"A lunar eclipse," says my delightful online friend. "Is that the same as a Midnight Sun?”
Internets, he will recover from sudden grievous bodily harm in about 2-4 weeks.
You are sitting in a warm, inviting BEDROOM. There is a glass of WINE to your left, and 2 invitations to be SOMEWHERE ELSE, but both SOMEWHERE ELSES require GOLD and SOBRIETY…to get there. Tonight, however, you have essentially been STOOD UP on your original plans. Aren’t you the frustrated little bitch?
Glass of WINE
Online GOLD POUCH
FRIDGE full of MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS
> CHECK GOLD POUCH
You log onto online banking. You are POOR.
> OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE
I know right. Would you like to go SOMEWHERE ELSE?
You are sitting in a warm, inviting BEDROOM.
What do you want to search for?
> SEARCH FOR MORE WINE
There is no more WINE in the house.
Command not recognised.
> SEARCH FOR MORE ALCOHOL
You discover that, indeed, you have a staggering amount of FRANGELICO and VANILLA VODKA.
> SEARCH FOR MIXERS
You discover ORANGE JUICE in the FRIDGE.
> INSERT FRANGELICO AND VANILLA VODKA INTO ORANGE JUICE