Urge to paint a Hitler mustache on myself and vault onto people’s shoulders screaming ‘MEIN GOTT IN HIMMEL, ZE PRETTY LIGHTS.’ narrowly suppressed. Thanks again, Impulse Control Thingy! You’re welcome, Manda!
Related note - 5 Evil Things of Evil About Me That Lurkers Probs Don’t Know Yet And May Swing Their Follow/Unfollow Vote:
1) I’m a Salesperson. For a living. IN AUDIO VISUAL. I’m one of those bitches that convinces you you need $150 HDMI cables over the $30 ones that do the exact same thing and $200 surge protectors that will probably end up collecting dust in the bottom of one of your kitchen drawers. I personally don’t think being a salesperson is evil, but that’s also apparently a sign of being evil. I can’t win.
2) Witches. Anything with witches. Books, movies, musicals, plays, videogames. I love it all. Last year I got into a fight with an EB Games store regarding my purchase of The Witcher: Enhanced Edition. Long story short I walked away with a written apology from the Manager and the game for half price. I saw ‘Wicked’ three times in two months. In another state. Flying down at separate times. With three different people.
3) Maleficent, the Queen of Fables and Beauty and the Beast’s Enchantress are my favourite characters of all time omg. Not villains. CHARACTERS. I totally and completely understand their motivations and don’t get why they get such a bum steer.
4) As a more direct example I struggle to be Good in Fable and Black & White and Dragon Age. It takes everything I have not to flip out and start killing everything in sight, because being Good is BORING and the cockney accents start to grate after a while.
5) I’ll readily admit I am of a harmless evil. Like animated evil. Even salesperson evil isn’t SO bad, it’s still skates under lawyer evil pretty handily and everyone CAN say no to me if they want to but I don’t want them to because I make money out of horrifically overpriced cables and powerboards and ‘extended warranties’ so I don’t give them the chance. I cannot abide by ACTUAL evil though. Like Hitler Evil. I’m more Haha-Evil than Stabbity-Death-Serial Killer Evil. Think…Harley Quinn Evil, not Joker Evil. That’s the distinction we’re going for here.
…I have spent the last 5 hours CLEANING and MOVING SHIT AROUND because I am a CRAZY PERSON that works better and more effectively at night and I have a new housemate that will move in to…day, and he kinda needs his room.
The only truly coherent thought I have at this hour of the morn is ‘If I was a girl Henry DeTamble and suffered Chrono-Displacement, I would totally make the most of it and make out with every legal age version of myself I could.’
Internets, the last 48 hours have been a revelation. Several I desperately desired but never knew I needed, some I wish I had never realised and one I truly wished wasn’t true but have suspected for several weeks now and honestly? I thought I had grown out of it.
I shaved my head for charity and it was truly the most cathartic thing I have ever done. It was 3 years of regret and sadness and love and finally, forgiveness and my gods to release it all in a 5 minute buzz watching my once below-shoulder length hair fall around my face onto the floor in front of 200 people…it was incredible. I can put my hand on my head and immediately feel the heat radiating from both and you have no idea what a wonderful feeling that is.
To be able to move around my apartment without my ex being RIGHT. THERE. is a small blessing I have been looking forward to for a month now. It’s not something I’m used to. I can handle the immediate separation, the not seeing them for upwards of a half year after and the casual and hesitant beginnings of a maybe friendship after sufficient time has passed. Not this. This has made me snippy and awful and argumentative. The attraction and the about-to-act on it and then frustration and it’s all really just made me a horrible person. Conclusion: I need to get laid. In the worst, nastiest, most despicable way possible. Like, The Worst.
I feel like I’m 16 again and this isn’t ideal by any stretch of the imagination, but I’m determined to get a friendship of a fashion from her this time around. The sad thing? I don’t want to be crushing on her again. I’m a grown woman for gods’ sake and I have gotten past this. Body, you are betraying me again and I don’t like it.